“For only through the body, through the pulling of flesh, can the human soul be transformed. And for images, words, stories to have this transformative power, they must arise from the human body.” — Gloria Anzaldúa, Borderlands
Today, I honor my body. For all she endures. For that she has been through. For all she is capable of. For all that she has yet to become.
It is difficult to honor the gentleness I must possess for myself when my body is full of pain I cannot see, only feel. Sometimes I think, is this even real?
When others see me as more than capable because I have my “arms and legs,” I have to remind myself, I walk a fine line between doing the thing and overdoing the thing. I have to remind myself in those instances:
Do it however you are able,
do it, not because you are trying
to prove to the naysayer that you can,
you can
only do this, do it, for you.
I have put myself in a position to strengthen my body, and yet through the physical work of lifting weights and breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth, I am continuously searching for a deeper power I know is within me. I am pulling at the flesh to awaken what has always been within me yet has never had the chance to make herself known. I breathe (and laugh) through the motions of building bone and muscle to unleash a newfound power/conviction. Yet I keep coming back to a site of gratefulness for the mobility I still have, for my perseverances through searing hot, popping joints, and such a lack of fluidity that I do not have though I still move and move and work and work, hoping to heal and heal and heal.
This shedding of skin. This crossing over. My un/making.
I share now, a poem I wrote a few months ago to honor an incredible amount of pain I was experiencing at the time. While the pain is at a much more tolerable level, I have somehow found my way back to this poem… I share it again on a more widely available level with greater appreciation for the wondrousness that is the human body.
However this post may find you, I hope (even just for a tiny moment) there is kindness and love given back to yourself.
For all that is endured and all that is made possible when we love the power and delicacy of our bodies...
Title: Wondrous Bodies (2023)
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